Reuben A

Hi. Me agian. 'griound' ground.'I went to sleep on my old bed and pulled my new sheets on myself. The sword rested just besides me. I woke up to the ...

'The gnome turned at me' Not at, to.'as I pull my hand out I...' Pulled. 'As we stepped in the candles flared into flames, in a magic like manner' leave ...

'“What, what must I see??” “Tell me!!” I shouted in sudden anger.' Your character has sudden mood swings! I think all you should do here is to describe the troll ...

I enjoy this story very much so far. There is scarcely anything I think you should change. For one, 'He (or it) looked at me with a cold gaze witch ...

Millie, her parents and the slaves had decided to camp for the night. This decision had come after they had seen a …disturbing thing. Instead of a glittering beautiful city, ...

It's an interesting beginning. 'Ilith followed him smiling all the time. Almost running beside the thief trying to keep up with the big step of Fellow. He was happy… Fellow ...

The only thing that caught me in this piece was that you mention your only friend twice. id Dan and the one you killed the same person? I can't wait ...

Very good...how did Caolyn know that the old woman wanted to buy the looking glass?t 'She sang an old song of the Faeries as she headed for the oldest trees.' ...

I love the first chapter. The only thing that I would change, is how did the human like creature look? Except for the human likeness of it.

Thanks for al your critts, I am sure to edit.

Thank you all for the critique, I'll definitely edit.

"Done." Alan sighed. Finally, the great heap of dung had been shoveled into a great big sack. "finally." His dad said. "Now...I've got some bad news."he continued. Alan groaned. "Not ...

Gees! You write brilliantly! I don't think that there's anything to improve. Is Elmwood street a real street in Londen?

The flame spluttered and spat. Elias, King of Melosica, knew it wouldn't last long. In his hands he cradled his sword. He heard the sound of running feet, coming down ...

MeghnaK Great so far. what's the main character's name? How did she 'journey' from the bed to the sky? Did she lie down, close her eyes, and then suddenly she ...